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CELEBRATING
27 YEARS OF BRAIN-FRYING MOVIE REVIEWING!
"Opinions
are like assholes. Everybody has one." - Harry Callahan,
THE DEAD POOL.
"Anyone
proud of being a critic is a fucking fool" - Scooter McCrae
(Director, Screenwriter and Movie Critic)
Welcome
to the Critical Condition web site. For those of you unfamiliar with
Critical Condition, let me give a little background. Critical
Condition (CritCon for short) was started as a small bi-monthly
newsletter in 1982 to alert my friends about the new horror films
that were released to theaters. The early 80's were a boon to the
horror business as many home-grown and foreign-made horror films 
were
being released to theaters every month. Some were good (Lucio
Fulci's THE BEYOND;
Gary Sherman's DEAD
& BURIED)
but most were bad (Jim Henley's JUNIOR;
Bruno Mattei's NIGHT
OF THE ZOMBIES and countless
others). Being the horror maven that I am (and will always be), I
started CritCon to separate the cream from the crap. The first
CritCon newsletter was merely one typewritten xeroxed page that I
passed out to my friends. By 1985 CritCon had mushroomed into a 20
page semi-pro magazine that had a circulation of about 1,000. The
year 1985 was a turning point in the horror film business. It was the
year that home video became wildly popular and forever changed the
way we viewed movies. Cheap horror films were no longer being
screened in theaters. Video distributors got wise and started
releasing every cheap horror film they could get their hands on. I
must have viewed over a thousand horror movies on video in 1985
alone! By 1987, I had burned-out writing about all the horror films
that I had watched and ceased publishing CritCon with one final 100
page issue. By this time there were plenty of other semi-pro
magazines on the market that were covering the same market that I
was. I took a much-needed rest from the writing game and began to
read all these other magazines. For the next five years I kept a low
profile but I was also becoming somewhat disillusioned. While some of
these magazines flourished and were quite well done (Tim & Donna
Lucas' VIDEO WATCHDOG,
Mike Accomando's DREADFUL
PLEASURES [now defunct]; Mike
Weldon's PSYCHOTRONIC
VIDEO [also
now no longer publishing]), most were merely rants disguising
themselves as film reviews. You would be lucky to get the name of the
actor who starred in the films they were reviewing. Forget about
getting the directing, producing or screenwriting credits because
they were non-existant. They seemed more interested in raving about
their political views or complaining about some insignificant pimple
on their ass. By 1992, I'd had enough and decided to begin publishing
Critical Condition on a semi-regular basis. I kept my own politics to
a minimum (usually on the editorial page) and concentrated on the
films and filmmakers themselves. Each issue of CritCon was jam-packed
with reviews of films that you probably never heard of along with
full cast and crew credits as well as original rare ad mats. CritCon
accepted no advertising making it a complete read from the first page
to the last. NOTE: After a long and hard look at the publishing
business (or the "rip-off business" as I call it), I will
no longer be publishing Critical Condition. It will now be completely
web-based. I hope you enjoy this web site. If you do (or if you
don't), drop me an e-mail and let me know what you think. Check back
often to read the new reviews, news and informative emails.
Fred
Adelman
Editor
& Publisher
PS: For all of you that have emailed me asking if I sell the films I review, the answer is NO!!! (with certain exceptions). While most of the films I review are available from reliable distributors, some of the films have been out of circulation for years and will probably never get a legal DVD or VHS release again or in the distant future. If you do not see a link to a distributor at the end of my reviews, I could probably make you a copy of the film on DVD-R (which will play on most DVD players sold in the last couple of years). Unfortunately, I can only do this in the U.S., so if you live outside the good old U.S. of A., don't bother asking. Email me with your inquiries (I have over 5,000 films in my library) and I'll see what I can do for you. These films are to be distributed from one collector to another (Legal disclaimer). Don't expect crystal clarity as they are being copied from VHS to DVD-R and you may be able to get your hands on a film that you've been dying to see for many years. (Good news: I've completely turned all my VHS tapes to DVD-R, so you can probably get any film you want reviewed on this web site. Read the paragraph below before you send in your requests, though.) Good luck! To see my entire video and DVD list (Updated 09/15/07), click HERE. You must have Microsoft Excel 2000 or later to view the file.
PSS: For all of you out there who have emailed me with lists of dozens flms you would like me to send you (you know who you are Mr. Woodberry) and then rant and rave that I'm not fulfilling my "promise", let me say this to you: GET A LIFE!!! Do you think that I have the time to make copies of dozens of films, mail them out to you and get nothing in return? I'm not asking for money, only films to trade. I do trades with many fans with no trouble at all. I've made many friends this way (especially you, Will), but when you email me a list of over 40 films and ask me to dupe them for you because: A) You're too cheap to go out and buy the legal versions, or B) You're just plain lazy and arrogant, don't think that you will even get a response from me. One guy was flooding my inbox with email dropping the F-bomb on me for hours on end and he said he was 33 years old! I bet he still lives at his Mama's home masturbating to photos in National Geographic.
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EMAILS FROM FAMOUS PEOPLE AND FANS Updated! |
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LAST
UPDATED: FEBRUARY
9, 2010
Contents
© 1984 - 2010 One Eye Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
FORREST J. ACKERMAN 1916 - 2008, R.I.P.
PAUL NASCHY (Jacinto Molina Alvarez) 1934 - 2009, R.I.P.
OTHER NEWS:
BOBBY A. SUAREZ 1942 - 2010, R.I.P.
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2010 has rolled in and so starts a new round of celebrity deaths. Below you will find the names of famous and little-known celebrities who have passed away in 2010. (For a comprehensive list of 2009 deaths, click HERE):
Bobby
A. Suarez (Director: CLEOPATRA WONG - 1977;
PAY OR DIE - 1979) - 02/07/10 |
Thanks to all the fine folks at Infinology (Quam, Josh, Barry, Calvin & Barbara) for making sure that this website stayed up and running through difficult times. You guys and gals are the greatest!