ACTION U.S.A. (1988) - A film that lives up to it's title. This film's sole purpose is to cram as much stuntwork humanly possible into 89 minutes. This Waco, Texas-lensed obscurity's minimal plot begins with Billy (Ron Shaft) being abducted by goons working for crime kingpin Franki Navarro (80's cameo king Cameron Mitchell) while making love to girlfriend Carmen (Barri Murphy; ARMED FOR ACTION - 1992). The goons hang Billy Ray upside-down in a traveling helicopter to try to get him to reveal where he hid a fortune in diamonds that he stole from Navarro, while Carmen follows the helicopter in her Porche. The goons accidentally drop Billy Ray in a lake, so Carmen picks him up, the goons steal a car and the chase is on (Why the goons didn't just chase them in the helicopter is a question better left unasked). Billy Ray obliquely reveals to Carmen the location of the diamonds just before the goons shoot him dead. Before the goons can grab Carmen, she is saved by FBI agents Osborn (Gregory Scott Cummins; WATCHERS III - 1994) and McKinnon (William Hubbard Knight), who take her into protective custody. With no planes available (again, a question better left unasked), Osborn and McKinnon must drive their uncooperative witness to their destination, while Carmen tries to decipher the mysterious clues Billy Ray gave her before he died. This gives the film plenty of opportunities to show numerous car chases, gunfights and stunts, as Navarro's hired hitman Drago (Ross Hagen; THE PHANTOM EMPIRE - 1987) and assistant Hitch (Hoke Howell; THE GLOVE - 1978) try to kidnap Carmen and bring her back to Navarro. That scenario becomes moot when Carmen leads her two FBI escorts to the stolen diamonds. Now, our hapless trio must fight for their lives, which includes a stop at a redneck bar where a huge fight breaks out and Drago takes Osborn hostage. McKinnon and Carmen swing into action to rescue Osborn but, during the daring rescue, McKinnon is seriously injured. Osborn and Carmen (who are growing quite fond of each other) make it to the pick-up point, only to discover that someone Osborn trusted has betrayed them. With McKinnon's life hanging in the balance, Osborn and Carmen must figure a way out of this mess. Lights...Camera...Action!  Though nothing but a series of stunts held together by the thinnest plot imaginable, ACTION U.S.A. is still an enjoyable romp, thanks to the plentiful violence, nudity and humor. This is the first film directed by professional stuntman John Stewart, who would later make the excellent action film CARTEL (1990; also featuring Cummings) and the disappointing thriller CLICK: THE CALENDAR GIRL KILLER (1991; starring Hagen). It's easy to see that Stewart was cutting his teeth here, as the stunt sequences are quite good, but he has difficulty when it comes to straight dialogue scenes. Still, this is nothing more than an excuse for Stewart to give his stunt buddies an opportunity to shine and shine they do. Cars fly through the air, crash through motor homes, houses and explode into fireballs. There are also high falls, fire gags and gunfights galore. While the film tosses all logic out the window from the very first scene (Billy Ray's modified Corvette may be a thing of over-accessorized beauty, but there is no way in hell it would ever be street legal), it's always nice to see Gregory Scott Cummins in a rare good guy role. If stunts and action are your thing, this film is a good bet. William Smith (THE LOSERS - 1970) puts in an extended cameo as Cummins' crooked boss. Make sure you stay through the closing credits to see some funny outtakes involving Smith and Ross Hagen. Also starring Gary Beall, Malcolm King, David Sanders and Brennon Hatley. Originally released on VHS by Imperial Entertainment Corp. and not available on DVD. Not Rated, but definitely R-rated material thanks to bloody violence and plentiful nudity.

AGAINST THE LAW (1997) - The ever-busy Jim Wynorski (GHOULIES 4 -1993, SORCERESS - 1994) directed this modern-day western in cop's clothes. Richard grieco stars as Rex, a fame-seeking fast-draw killer who rides around in a red Cadillac convertable challenging cops to see who can draw their gun the quickest. He always wins, taking the dead cops' guns and badges as souveniers. While watching TV, Rex spots reporter Maggie Hewitt (Nancy Allen) telling the story of how local cop John Shepard (Nick Mancuso, playing his normal alcoholic role) single-handedly gunned down a drug gang. Rex contacts the interested reporter and tells her that he wants her to film his quick-draw challenge with Shepard. After a series of double-crosses in which Shepard's partner and other cops get shot, Rex gets his wish, meeting Shepard on the beach for a showdown. Better production values than normal for a Wynorski film, it is also the first film he has done in recent memory that contains no nudity. He must be softening with age. AGAINST THE LAW is an OK actioner if you can ignore some implausable situations. Also starring Steven Ford, Thomas Mikal Ford, Gary Sandy, Jaime Pressly, James Stephens and a cameo by Heather Thomas (TV's THE FALL GUY). Also known as GUNSLINGER. A Peachtree Entertainment Home Video Release. Not Rated.

AMERICAN JUSTICE (1985) - During the late 70's and 80's, illegal immigration from Mexico was a hot topic (it's regained it's popularity as a hot-button political issue as of late) and films were made to cash-in on the subject, including Telly Savalas in BORDER COP (1979), Charles Bronson in BORDERLINE (1980) and Jack Nicholson in THE BORDER (1982). This film, originally known as JACKALS (a term for people who guide the illegals across the border), was one of the last. Ex-cop Joe Case (Jack Lucarelli) comes to an unnamed Arizona border town (actually filmed in Nogales, Arizona) to visit his ex-partner Dave Buchanon (Jameson Parker), a U.S. Border Patrol cop, and his wife Jess (Jeannie Wilson). While riding a horse alone in the desert, Joe watches as crooked Border Patrol cop Jake Wheeler (Gerald McRaney) shoots and kills a female wetback as she tries to escape after Jake raped her. Joe and Dave go to headquarters to report the killing to Sheriff Lawrence Mitchell (Wilford Brimley), but Jake is in the room (and it's at this time that Joe realizes that Jake is a cop). Joe tells Dave that Jake is the killer and when they go to the scene of the crime, the body is missing (Jake had one of his cronies rebury the body in another location). With no victim to be found, it's Joe's word against Jake's and even Dave has a hard time believing it. Just to be sure, Dave has his friend Warner (Warner Glenn), an expert tracker, go over the crime scene again. He finds a trail to follow and they find the girl buried in a new grave. Warner tracks the guy that reburied her and Dave arrests him, but Jake kills him with automatic sniper fire to keep him from talking. Sheriff Mitchell begins to suspect Jake when his alibi for the girl's murder doesn't pan out, but he can't do anything without more proof (among other reasons to be disclosed later). Joe and Dave cross the border to get proof of Jake's illegal women-selling business, where we learn that Sheriff Mitchell was Jake's business partner. When Jake threatens Jess' life and then kills Dave (in a scene that's pretty hard to watch), a wounded Joe must find a way to bring Jake down. Joe travels down to Mexico on a tip from a remorseful Sheriff Mitchell to get revenge the old-fashioned way, using the same shotgun to kill Jake that Jake used to kill Dave. It takes three blasts to kill Jake, but Joe seem to relish every pull of the trigger.  This is a pretty decent low-budget action flick that got some minor notoriety when it was made because both Jameson Parker (PRINCE OF DARKNESS - 1987) and Gerald McRaney (who got his career started by appearing in such low-rent horror films like NIGHT OF BLOODY HORROR - 1969) were co-starring at the time on the successful comedy detective TV series SIMON & SIMON (1981 - 1988). Made during summer hiatus in 1985, this film must have come as a shock to fans of the series, especially Parker's death at the hands of McRaney who, at the time, wasn't really known for playing bad guys (He showed us much later that he would excel at it, especially on HBO's Western series DEADWOOD). Even though Wilford Brimley gets top billing, he has very little to do here besides looking concerned and trying to atone for his sins in the end. The script, by Dennis A. Pratt (who also plays the role of Connie, one of Jake's men), concentrates on Gerald McRaney's and Jack Lucarelli's (who's rather bland) characters, making this a study in contrasts. The gauntlet in the apartment building that Jameson Parker and Lucarelli (who are both the Producers on this) have to shoot their way through, resulting in Parker's death at McRaney's hands, is expertly filmed and a nail-biter. Director Gary Grillo (this is his only movie directorial credit, although he did direct an episode of Parker's and McRaney's series and was Assistant Director on many films, such as BLOODY MAMA - 1970) keeps things moving at a brisk clip and films nearly every scene with an over-abundance of dusty atmosphere. It makes you thirsty just watching it. It enjoyed this film, thanks to McRaney's badass performance and some well-staged gunfights. Give it a try. Also starring Rick Hurst, Sharon Hughes, David Steen, Robert Covarrubias and Randy Hall. A Lightning Video Release. Rated R. I have one question that has been bothering me for years: Has Wilford Brimley ever been young and, if he was, did he come out of his mother's womb with that beard?

ANGEL OF FURY (1991) - Here's an Indonesian action film starring high-kicking Cynthia Rothrock and written by Christopher Mitchum (sorry to report that he doesn't appear on-screen). Rothrock is courier Nancy Bolan, who enters Jakarta carrying a metal case that may or may not contain a top-secret computer coveted by bad guy Nick Stewart (Peter O'Brian; THE STABILIZER - 1984; THE INTRUDER - 1986). When Nancy manages to get her case stolen after a fight on a dock, followed by a speedboat/jet ski chase, she makes it her mission to protect the other two metal cases that will soon arrive in town, one being a decoy case and the other containing the real computer. Guess what? She ends up losing both of those cases, too; one at an airport that erupts into a gunfight and another that is dropped off by helicopter, which results in another gunfight and a car/helicopter explosion. It's apparent that Nancy has a traitor amongst her ranks, but she gets fired from her position because she was in charge of the operation. Now that Nick (who for some reason is now called "Bolt") has all three cases, he still needs Nancy to open them because all the cases are rigged with bombs that will explode if not opened using the right code. Nick has his men kidnap Sarah (Kiki Amir), a little girl who is close to Nancy, in a crowded mall, which leads to a car/motorcycle chase that results in Sarah getting shot in the back and dying in Nancy's arms (Geesh, Nancy really isn't good at protecting things, is she?). Nick finally kidnaps Nancy (with a knock-out dart to the neck) and tortures her (in a scene lifted directly from LETHAL WEAPON) to get the combination to the cases. She gives up the codes rather easily, but it seems Nick really only has two of the cases and they are both the dummies. Nancy figures out who has the third case (it's someone very close to her), which leads to an extended fight/stunt sequence in an abandoned warehouse, where the case passes from person to person until only one is left standing. Can you guess who that will be?  Although quite violent at times, this Indonesian actioner, directed by Ackyl Anwari (VIRGINS FROM HELL - 1987), seems to be lacking in the plot department and thanks to some friends overseas, I now know why. The version available on U.S. VHS is shorn of nearly twenty minutes and clocks-in at barely 72 minutes long. It was also retitled (it was made under the title TRIPLE CROSS and is available in foreign markets under that name), re-dubbed and re-scored in Los Angeles, disposing of the original titles, dialogue and music tracks. Sadly, most of the missing footage seems to deal with Peter O'Brian's character, who is called "Bolt" throughout the film even though in the closing credits he's listed as "Nick Stewart". Besides the opening scene, where O'Brian is torturing a man with a machete and a hand-powered drill (a huge chunk of this sequence seems to be missing, as it opens on a jarring note), we don't see much of him until the finale, which severely minimalizes his bad guy status (One funny bit of dialogue has Rothrock mockingly calling him "Rambo"). There are plenty of chases, stunts, bloody bullet squib deaths (including the little girl) and Ms. Rothrock's high-kicking abilities, but by editing out much of the exposition scenes, this version of the film deprives fans of Indonesian insanity one of the major enjoyments of watching these films: The crazy dialogue. Without that, all we have to enjoy is the violence, making ANGEL OF FURY seem more like an American action film than an Indonesian one, something I'm sure the powers-that-be that had this recut were aiming for. Try to find the full version instead. It's out there if you do your homework. Produced by Gope T. Samtani for Rapi Films. Deddy Armand, who wrote the screenplays for some of the most balls-out Indonesian actioners (including the two previously mentioned O'Brian starrers, as well as the Chris Mitchum opus FINAL SCORE [1986], the best Indo action flick of all time), is given story credit here. Since this is Mitchum's only credited screenplay, logic dictates that Armand was probably responsible for 90% of the script. Not to be confused with Rothrock's LADY DRAGON 2 (1993), which is also known as ANGEL OF FURY (Also produced by Gope T. Samtani for Rapi Films and released on VHS in the U.S. by Imperial Entertainment, the same company that released this film. Confused yet?). Also starring Chris Barnes, Zainal Abidin, Roy Marten, A. Melasz, Tanaka, Minati Atmanegara, Jureck Klyne and Robby Sutara, The bastardized version was released on U.S. VHS by Imperial Entertainment Corp. in SP mode and by Best Film & Video in the cheap EP mode. Not available on DVD. Rated R.

ARMED FOR ACTION (1992) - In this low-budget regional actioner, police Sgt. Phil Towers (David Harrod) is transporting Mafia hitman David Montel (Rocky Patterson) across country by car (why they didn't take a plane is never explained) for his trial in Los Angeles. They stop in a small Texas town for a bite to eat, unaware that crooked cops Detective West (Joe Estevez) and Detective Carter (Dean Nolen) have brought some Mafia goons to this town, cut the phone lines and are waiting to ambush Sgt. Towers and kill Montel, because his testimony could put a lot of crooked cops and Mafia chieftans behind bars. Two local yokels, Alex (J. Scott Guy) and Jake (Shane Boldin), grow suspicious of all the new faces in town (who seem to outnumber the local population 5 to 1) and end up helping Sgt. Towers fight the bad guys. When West tries to kill Montel while he is taking a shit in the bathroom of the town's diner, Towers shoots West (he only wings him in the head), then head to the town's bar, where they meet feisty Sarah (Barri Murphy), Alex's girlfriend. When the crooked cops kill the town sheriff (Jack Gould) and Jake's girlfriend Lori (Tracy Spaulding), Jake and Alex (who are avid hunters) go to the bar to lend a hand to Towers, while Sarah tries to find a way out of town and get help. She fails miserably and is taken prisoner. When West and his men surround the bar, Towers has no choice but to trust Montel. He gives Montel a gun and the quartet are able to escape the bar and go to Alex's house where, just like any good Texan, he has a stash of automatic weapons and hand grenades. When West and his goons surround Alex's house and threaten Sarah's life, Montel turns hero and saves her life. With Sarah now safely in Alex's arms, Towers, Jake, Alex and Montel begin picking-off West's men one-by-one until only West is left. West and Montel agree to go at it mano-a-mano, but Montel pulls a fast one and shoots West dead. Towers lets Montel walk away to freedom, but promises to recapture him some day. This impossibly-cheap action flick, directed by Bret McCormick (THE ABOMINATION - 1986; OZONE! ATTACK OF THE REDNECK MUTANTS - 1986), is terrible for one reason only: It has no action. Talky to the point of making you think you're watching a Henry Jaglom film, ARMED FOR ACTION fails miserably as an action film and the unbelievable situations and plot devices (script by actor Ted Prior, who had the good sense not to appear in this) further pulls this flick down into the mire. When Joe Estevez (who is absolutely horrible here) says to bartender Sarah, "Where I come from, a buck-fifty doesn't pay for the ice!" after she charges him $1.50 for a bourbon, you'll be screaming that the producers (Executive Produced by David Winters and David Prior) should have put that $1.50 into the film's budget. The most glaring budgetary restriction is the town itself. It's only populated by five residents and it tries to (unconvincingly) explain this away by telling us that everyone's away hunting! Oh, really? Does that include all the women and children, too? We know that there are supposed to be children in this town because a schoolbus comes into play (lamely, I might add) in the quartet's escape from the bar. By the time we get to the film's money shot, the shootout at Alex's house, the viewer has long-since lost interest. Joe Estevez looks like he's in a coked-out haze throughout this film and either screams out his lines or delivers them in a wide-eyed stare. I'm sure brother Martin Sheen is very proud. This film is about as much fun as slicing your dick open with a paring knife and dipping it in gasoline. Also starring Kirk McKinney and John Pask. Director McCormick (who sometimes uses the name "Max Raven") made a bunch of regional Texas-lensed action films during the 90's. Let's hope they're not as bad as this one. An Action International Pictures Home Video Release. Not Rated.

AVENGING FORCE (1986) - This exciting revision of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME is edge-of-your-seat entertainment from beginning to end and is probably Michael Dudikoff's best film role. The film opens up with two Special Forces agents being hunted down by four masked killers in the Louisiana bayou. After the men are killed, we find out the killers form four points of the Pentangle Hunting Fraternity, a sick group of politically-connected thrill seekers who "hunt" people that don't fall into their twisted criteria of what's best for America. The leader of the Pentangle is Glastenbury (the late John P. Ryan, in one of his best villianous roles) and the next target is Councilman Larry Richards (the late Steve James), who is running for Senator and, since he is Black, makes him a target for the all-white Pentangle. They try to kill Larry while he is riding on a float with his family during Mardi Gras, but Larry's best friend Matt Hunter (Dudikoff), an ex-Secret Service agent turned rancher, is along for the ride and stops the assassination, but not before one of Larry's young sons is shot and killed. Pentangle, pissed that they missed their target, redouble their efforts and now have Matt in their sights, too. Their next attempt ends badly for more members of Pentangle, as Matt and Larry kill them on a docked ship and issue a challenge to Pentangle. Glastenbury accepts ands sends his men to Matt's farm, where they burn down his house, kill Larry (with a crossbow bolt to the back), his wife and other son (both shot at close range) and kidnap Matt's young sister Sarah (Allison Gereighty). They make Matt play the game where the four members of Pentangle are the hunters and Matt is the prey. After Matt saves Sarah from a bayou brothel run by a transvestite madam, they must travel through the swamp while Glastenbury and his three masked cohorts are close behind. Matt will have to use all his Secret Service training, as he kills three members of the hunting party one-by-one, by impalement, crossbow and knife. Glastenbury gets away, but not for long, as Matt shows up at his home and they battle using the many weapons scattered throughout Glastenbury's well-equipped home. Matt wins and then makes a surprising discovery as to who the fifth point of the Pentangle really is.  Directed with energy by Sam Firstenberg (who also directed Dudikoff and James in AMERICAN NINJA a year earlier) and written by James Booth (who also has a key role as Admiral Brown), AVENGING FORCE is just one breath-taking action setpiece after another. The Mardi Gras massacre in the beginning is one such sequence, where dozens of innocent bystanders, cops and members of the parade are gunned down, while Matt and Larry disarm and kill the assailants. Shortly afterwards, there's a stunt-filled car chase that ends on a docked ship, where Matt and Larry deliver their second beatdown of the Pentangle. Glastenbury gets so pissed off at the end result, he shoots fellow member Parker (Loren Farmer) in the gut for his bungling of the hit and leaves him on the ground bleeding and moaning as he walks away. There are also shocking bits of violence, such as the attack on Matt's house, where Larry, his wife and son (who takes a real nasty fall off a burning roof with Matt) all die horribly. John P. Ryan stands out in his role as a man with no conscience (if he had a moustache, he would be twirling it!), as we see in the finale when, even though he's been stabbed in the leg by Matt just a few scant hours earlier, we see him having a formal dinner with family and friends as if nothing ever happened. He is capably backed up by character actors Marc Alaimo and Bill "Superfoot" Wallace as members of his hunting party. This Cannon Films production (Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus were the producers) is one of their better films and will have you wondering why it is not yet available on DVD. I guarantee that once you watch this, you'll never look at the John Woo-directed HARD TARGET (1993) the same way again. Same location, same plot, same outcome. Maybe that's why this earlier film is not available on DVD! Track this down on VHS and watch it now! Also starring Karl Johnson, Richard Boyle and Sylvia Joseph. A Media Home Entertainment Release. Rated R.

BEST MEN (1997) - A tight script that combines comedy and tragedy with excellent results. Toss in some unexpected bursts of violence along with some true acts of friendship and what you get is a thoroughly involving crime caper that hooks you from the beginning and never lets you go. Director Tamra Davis (GUN CRAZY - 1992) uses what had to be a limited budget to great effect, limiting locations to a single street for most of the film and culminating in a wild bus ride for the finale. Stars Dean Cain, Fred Ward, Luke Wilson, Sean Patrick Flanery, Brad Dourif, Andy Dick and Drew Barrymore turn in top-notch performances. These are people you actually care about. If you're wondering why I haven't discussed the plot, it's because I want you to watch this film knowing nothing about it. After viewing it you'll realize that the title has two meanings, the most obvious and a much deeper one. BEST MEN also has a downbeat ending that actually brought a smile to my face. This may seem to be a contradiction, but it isn't. Watch it to see what I mean. This film gets my highest recommendation. An Orion Pictures Home Video Release. Rated R.

BLACK FRIDAY (2000) - When ex-Special Ops squadron leader turned lawyer Dean Campbell (Gary Daniels of RAGE - 1995) finds his house and family taken hostage by foreign terrorists (or so he thinks), the government agency (C.C.O.) that surrounds his house tries to kill him for reasons yet unknown. Bad mistake. After taking out about a half dozen agents at their headquarters, Campbell goes on a one-man war to stop the insanity. Along the way he finds out that the government is preparing to let loose a nerve agent in a neighborhood to see what effects it has on the populace. They plan on making it look as if terrorists are doing the nasty deed. They call this plan Black Friday and this action is to take place in his neighborhood. Campbell recruits some of his old Special Ops buddies to help him stop the attack while the other agency employs an old enemy of Campbell's from his Special Ops squadron. The action is minimal but potent when it does happen and Gary Daniels (also a Producer here) is still one of the best martial arts/actors making films today. Director Darren Doane (usually a music video director) creates a sense of compassion in Campbell that is very rare in action films today. Of course he's a successful businessman with a secret past, but he actually cares about people and the actions that they take. (As the head bad C.C.O. guy says: "A truly benevolent God would never let me inhabit this Earth.") The ending is especially unusual for an action film and take place a few months after the smoke clears. Daniels is sitting in a diner all alone and strikes up a conversation with the singing counterman about how he is traveling across the United States all alone. The sequence says nearly all there is to say about his character. The music soundtrack is also a major plus (probably thanks to director Doane) as trance, thrash metal and emo play in the background to enhance the mood. I would recommend this film to all fans of action who like a little to think about while watching people getting shot, stabbed or beaten to a pulp. Also starring Christopher J. Stapleton, Ryan Kos, Christopher Janney, Markus Botnick and Paul Gunning. A Trinity Home Entertainment Release. Not Rated.

THE BLACK GODFATHER (1974) - When J.J. (Rod Perry) and his junkie friend Tommy try to rob the house of mob big Tony Burton (Don Chastain), Tommy ends up dead (he forgot to load his gun!) and J.J. gets shot in the arm. He is saved by betting kingpin Nate Williams (Jimmy Witherspoon), who takes small-time crook J.J. under his wing. J.J. rises up through the ranks and, although he's heavily involved in the numbers and prostitution rackets, he's totally against drugs. Since Tony Burton is the drug kingpin in town, J.J. forms an alliance with all the black gangs to bring down Burton and his mob family. J.J. at first issues a verbal warning to Burton to stay out of the black neighborhoods through crooked detective Joe Sterling (Duncan McLeod of GARDEN OF THE DEAD - 1972), a cop on Burton's payroll. Burton doesn't like being threatened, so he goes to Nate's office and offers his own verbal warning to Nate, hoping it will put J.J. in line. Meanwhile, the black gangs are ridding their streets of white pushers and drug suppliers, which only makes Burton hotter under his extremely large collar. J.J. and his gang (one who carries a spear!) kidnap stuttering white drug pusher Cockroach (John Alderman) and interrogate him (in a huge room with a single chair) about where and when the next big drug shipment is happening. After Burton sets up some brothers on trumped-up gun charges, J.J. goes on the offensive and intercepts the big drug shipment, killing some of Burton's men in the process. Burton kills Nate and kidnaps J.J.'s girlfriend Yvonne (Diane Sommerfield), holding her hostage in exchange for the stolen drug shipment (Burton says, "It's time to teach this spook the facts of life!"). This leads to a bloody showdown between J.J. and his gang and Burton and his boys in a hospital. In the end, it's Yvonne who gets the revenge (Nate was her father), thanks to a well-placed meat cleaver to Burton's noggin.  Slow moving and methodical, this well-acted blaxploitation flick seems more interested in the plight of the black man than the usual action elements associated with films of this type. Director/producer/writer John Evans (SPEEDING UP TIME - 1971: BLACKJACK - 1978) waits over an hour to get to the first major gunfight in the film. It's an interesting move that probably infuriated theater audiences looking for an action fix. The characters in this film aren't normal blaxploitation cliches. These people have principles that they adhere to. Hell, even crooked Detective Sterling has a code of ethics even Burton can't break and he pays for it with his life. It was also ingenious in having J.J.'s hideout be a casket warehouse as it gives the scenes filmed there extra meaning and urgency. Rod Perry (THE BLACK GESTAPO - 1975) is quite good as a man on a mission who, when even under extreme pressure, keeps his wits about him. This is not a bad little film (which was a minor hit when originally released) which brings you back to a time when films like this were socially relevant and were considered legitimate theatrical entertainment by a majority of moviegoers. If it were made today, it would go straight to video. Fun Facts: There are two Tony Burtons in this film: The fictional mob boss and actor Tony Burton, who plays Sonny, Nate Williams personal bodyguard. Art Names, who would direct FANGS the same year, was the sound recordist here. Also starring Damu King, Anny Green and Betsy Findlay. A Xenon Pictures Release. Rated R.

BLOOD DEBTS (1983) - Another outlandish Filippino action flick, which is short on logic but full of bloody carnage. When father Mark Collins (Richard Harrison) watches five armed thugs shoot his daughter Sarah (Catherine Miles) and her fiance in the back (he's lucky he didn't witness them gang raping her a few moments earlier), he gets shot in the head but, thankfully, the bullet bounces off his thick skull. When he awakens, he vows revenge on all those involved. In the first ten minutes he manages to kill four of them, which upsets their boss, Bill (Mike Monty). Bill sends his top henchman Peter (James "Jim" Gaines) to follow Mark around and take photos of Mark killing a rapist, beating up three purse snatchers and performing other acts of vigilantism (like killing three men for stealing some drunk guy's bar money and switching golf balls on the last of his daughter's killers with an explosive one!). Tired of killing, Mark hangs up his guns for romantic nights with his wife Yvette (Ann Jackson). You know that's not gonna last long. Bill sends some of his goons to Mark's house, but he ends up killing them all. Bill then has Yvette kidnapped and blackmails Mark (using the photos) into killing people Bill says are criminals that need killing. Bill sends hit woman Liza (Ann Milhench) to accompany Mark on the assigned hits, telling him that if anything happens to Liza, his wife will die. As they go on their killing spree, Mark has an old Vietnam buddy check out the names on the list because he wants to know if they are killing these people for the "right reasons". When Mark finds out that he has been killing all of Bill's illegal business rivals, he decides enough is enough. When he save Liza from a mad rapist (He says to her, "Tell me that I am handsome!"), she helps Mark get revenge. Liza is killed during one of their raids so Mark goes on a one-man mission to bring Bill down. Bill blows up Yvette with a suitcase bomb, which only pisses Mark off more. Mark storms Bill's heavily guarded mansion, armed with a rocket launcher (and a mini-launcher hidden up his sleeve). May Bill rest in pieces.  This film takes such huge leaps in logic, you'll wonder what planet they are living on. Prolific director Teddy Page (FIREBACK - 1983; BLACK FIRE - 1985; JUNGLE RATS - 1987) has Mark blow away dozens of people (usually in the head, heart or back) without any police presence anywhere. Not a minute goes by without Mark shooting someone and he usually never misses, even when he's not aiming. There's lots of unintentional humor (When Mark kills one thug, he says, "Hey, you monkey. Get your bananas!" What the fuck does that mean?) and some funny intentional gags (One thug wears a M*A*S*H t-shirt while golfing and there's a stickup at "Harrison House Of Wine".) but, if you're looking for a coherent plot to go along with the violence, boy have you got the wrong film! The dubbing is really bad here (a lot worse than usual), Harrison's voice especially, and the script (by Timothy Jorge) is full of lines like, "You bitch!', "You're an asshole!" and "Goddamn it!" Most of the time it sounds like a badly dubbed 70's martial arts flick. If it's mindless action you want and nothing else, this film should suit you fine. You got to love a film that ends with these on-screen words: "Mark Collins, age 45, gave himself up to the authorities after the incident. He is now serving a life sentence." Phew, that puts my mind at ease! Produced by the Silver Star Film Company (RESCUE TEAM - 1981). Also starring Pat Andrew, Willy Williams, Tom Romano and Ron Patterson. A Continental Video Release. Not Rated.

THE BORN LOSERS (1967) - I was just thinking how lucky I was growing up in the 60's & 70's. Billy Jack was the first modern action hero to grace the silver screen, paving the way for your Seagals, Van Dammes, Lundgrens and other B-movie action stars. Tom Laughlin's Billy Jack is the American equivilent of Bruce Lee: the strong silent type not afraid to stand up to injustice. The difference with the Billy Jack films, though, is that they were more interested in the politics than action, or should I say, the absurdities of politics. The Billy Jack films preached peace and equality, but didn't have a problem wallowing in the dirt and degradation that it so preached against. THE BORN LOSERS began the Billy Jack mythos, but it wasn't until the second film, titled simply BILLY JACK, that the character took off and orbited in a world all it's own. It's a shame, because THE BORN LOSERS is an all-around better film and seems less dated than the second film, made four years later. The film opens up with a biker gang beating the bejesus out of a wise-mouth motorist (to be fair, he really was asking for it). Billy Jack (Laughlin) steps in and shoots one of the bikers in the hand when he comes at him with a broken bottle. The police arrive and arrest everyone. When Billy Jack stands before the judge, he finds out that his punishment (a $1,000 fine) is much greater than the bikers' (a $135 fine). That is the first injustice. The bikers rape five girls, including college student Vicky (the lovely Elizabeth James, who also wrote the screenplay using the name "E. James Lloyd"), and everyone is scared to testify against the bikers, except Vicky. She identifies her assailants and one of them is the brother of biker leader Danny (Jeremy Slate, who gives an excellent multi-layered performance). He decides the best way to get his brother out of jail is to make sure Vicky never makes it to court to testify. This is the second injustice. Vicky gets police protection, but that proves to be highly ineffective (the police are portrayed as sincere, but handcuffed by laws that protect the criminals more than they do the victims). Enter Billy Jack. He sees Vicky being kidnapped by the bikers and steps in, beating the crap out of three bikers with martial arts he learned as a Green Beret. Billy brings Vicky to his trailer home (overlooking the Pacific Ocean) where she learns some important life lessons about life, love and what it means to have convictions. When the bikers break into Billy's trailer, ransack it and steal all the money he has, he says enough is enough. This is the third, and final, injustice. Be we all know justice without law come with a price. Directed by Laughlin using his "T.C. Frank" pseudonym, THE BORN LOSERS is a pretty damn good piece of 60's exploitation with some political aspirations. Billy Jack is just one colorful character in a film full of colorful characters and he takes a backseat until the final third of the film. Along the way, we learn that Danny and his brother have an abusive father, the town deputy (future director Jack Starrett) likes to take the law into his own hands every now and then and a lot of laws (including punishment for rape) have mostly gone unchanged for the past 40 years. Although some of the dialogue is dated (Vicky postpones her rape by saying, "If rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it." and then asking the bikers if they have any acid), the film is still as relevant today as it was back in 1967. The bikers are not portrayed as raving lunatics as with most 60's exploitation biker films. They have dimensions, even if they do commit heinous acts. Danny has a wife and a small son and we see him play with the boy like a doting dad in one scene. Some great character actors portray members of the biker gang, including William Wellman Jr., Robert Tessier and Jeff Cooper. Also starring Stuart Lancaster (GODMONSTER OF INDIAN FLATS - 1973), Edwin Cook and Jane Russell as the mother of one of the rape victims. This was re-released after the enormous success of BILLY JACK and was more successful the second time around. This is available in various editions as part of a DVD compilation with the other Billy Jack films (from Billy Jack Enterprises) and Turner Classic Movies shows a nice letterboxed print on TV every now and then. Hard to believe that this was Rated PG (actually GP) on it's initial release. The subject matter would definitely demand an R rating today.

BULLETPROOF (1987) - Gary Busey stars as Detective Frank McBain, who is nicknamed "Bulletproof" because he gets shot during every bust (usually because he is just plain reckless), but always survives. The film opens with McBain and partner Billy Dunbar (Thalmus Rasulala; MR. RICCO - 1975) stopping a major weapons transaction between buyer Sharkey (a nattily dressed Danny Trejo) and seller Montoya (Don Pike, also the film's Stunt Coordinator), who delivers the weapons in an ice cream truck. After a shootout (When Sharkey spots McBain, he shouts, "Who the fuck is that?", to which McBain replies, "Your worst nightmare, butt-whore!"), McBain and Dunbar get into a car chase with Sharkey and Montoya, who is driving the ice cream truck, McBain blowing it up with a well placed (and logistically impossible) grenade toss. Of course, McBain takes a bullet in the shoulder and removes it by himself with a pair of tweezers when he gets home, placing it in a glass jar with all the other close calls. We then switch to a bunch of nasty Mexican rebels, led by Pantaro (Juan Fernandez; KINJITE: FORBIDDEN SUBJECTS - 1989), as they ambush a U.S. Army convoy, stealing a top secret tank code-named "Thunderblast" and taking Sgt. O'Rourke (L.Q. Jones; ROUTE 666 - 2001) and Cpl. Devon Shepard (Darlanne Fluegel; FREEWAY - 1988) hostage after killing everyone else, bringing them and the tank to a small Mexican village ruled by evil Arab (!) Colonel Kartiff (Henry Silva; CRY OF A PROSTITUTE - 1974). The U.S. government, in the personage of General Blackburn (R.G. Armstrong; TRAPPER COUNTY WAR - 1989), puts McBain back into military service (he use to be a an undercover military operative, until he accidentally shot and killed his partner in a bust gone bad) and tells him to retrieve the Thunderblast and save any hostages. Since Devon was his dead partner's fiancée (and his secret lover), McBain accepts the assignment and heads off to Mexico. While Colonel Kartiff tries to figure out a way to breach the tank's security system (it delivers a lethal jolt of electricity to anyone who tries to enter it without punching in the correct code), McBain begins his trek to the Mexican village and encounters resistance at every turn. When it turns out that this whole scenario was a set-up to get McBain into a face-off with an old Russian nemesis (William Smith; EVIL ALTAR - 1987), who was responsible for McBain accidentally killing his partner years earlier, McBain and Devon jump into the Thunderblast for some good-old American payback.  The first thing you'll notice about this film is the tremendous amount of excellent character actors in the cast. Besides the ones already mentioned, Mills Watson, Luke Askew, Rene Enriguez, Lincoln Kirkpatrick and Lydie Denier round out the roster. Director Steve Carver (BIG BAD MAMA - 1974; CAPONE - 1975; LONE WOLF MCQUADE - 1983) manages to even pull a good performance from the usually manic Gary Busey (EYE OF THE TIGER - 1986), who spouts some very funny dialogue (he likes to preface all his personal insults with the word "butt"), thanks to a screenplay supplied by T.L. Lankford and B.J. Goldman (Fred Olen Ray is given a co-story credit as well as an Associate Producer credit). Carver is best, though, handling the action scenes, as lots of objects explode, people are riddled with bullets and there's a ridiculously funny scene of McBain escaping on a giant wooden spool (which he is tied spread-eagle to) after Devon tosses a grenade behind it, forcing it to roll down a hill! Henry Silva is his regular bug-eyed, sweaty self (some of his expressions are priceless) and he even gets to rape Darlanne Fluegel. While not a great action film, BULLETPROOF is a thoroughly entertaining B-movie that could only come from the politically incorrect 80's. I'm still trying to figure out why the terrorists in Mexico are a mixture of Mexicans, Muslims and Russians. This isn't a sequel to RED DAWN (1984), you know (Or is it? Hmmmmm.). Less than a year later, Gary Busey got into a serious motorcycle accident that nearly cost him his life (he suffered serious head trauma because he wasn't wearing a helmet). Even though he still acts, Busey hasn't been the same since (This may explain why he starred as the title character in Charles Band's THE GINGERDEAD MAN [2005]). Not to be confused with the Adam Sandler/Damon Wayans action comedy BULLETPROOF (1996). Also starring James Andronica, Ramon Franco, Lucy Lee Flippen, Redmond M. Gleeson, Christopher Doyle and Jorge Cervera Jr. Originally released on VHS by RCA/Columbia Home Video and available on budget DVD from Echo Bridge Home Entertainment in a slightly washed-out fullscreen print. Rated R.

CARTEL (1990) - Rip-roaring action flick. Charter pilot Chuck Taylor (Miles O'Keeffe) is set-up when a delivery of what he thinks is medical supplies turns out to be a huge shipment of "Peruvian Flake". Drug kingpin Tony King (Don Stroud) orders his men to retrieve the cocaine and kill Taylor, but when the DEA and FBI show up at the airport, both Taylor and King are arrested and sent to the same prison to serve their sentences. It's apparent that there's no love lost between the two and when Taylor interferes with King's prison drug ring (as well as beating King at an arm wrestling match), King orders his men on the outside to kill Taylor's family and girlfriend. When King's goons, including right-hand man Rivera (Gregory Scott Cummins), drive a car through Taylor's house, rape and kill his sister Nanvy (Suzanne Slater) and shoot and injure both Nancy's young son Tommy (Bradley Pierce) and Taylor's girlfriend Donna (Crystal Carson), a distraught and revenge-minded Taylor must find a way to break out of prison. Things get worse when Rivera pulls a daring daytime prison breakout, with the help of crooked prison guard Mason (William Smith), which results in King escaping and making it look like he died in the attempt. After hearing from Donna that his court appeal is probably not going to happen, Taylor escapes from prison (using the old standby: a metal file!) and begins his systematic destruction of all things Tony King. Using information gathered by Donna, Taylor intercepts a drug shipment in a parking garage (He says, "Have a nice flight!" to a goon just before he throws him off the garage roof), but Rivera kidnaps Donna, forcing Taylor to attempt to save her in a boxing gym. After rescuing Donna, Taylor returns to prison (!) and, the next day, he's freed when new evidence (which he anonomously provided to authorities during his night of freedom) comes to light. King then kidnaps Taylor and Donna and puts them on a boat with a ticking timebomb. In the finale, Taylor breaks free and brings King to justice (if death is actually justice) and discovers that he had an unlikely ally at his back the entire time.  All low-budget action films should be this entertaining. No one ever accused Miles O'Keeffe (PHANTOM RAIDERS - 1988) of being much of an actor, but he's quite good here as a man determined to get even. I would go as far as to say that this is his best role ever. O'Keeffe doesn't have to emote much but, when he does, he's believable. There are also many well-done action set pieces and stunts, including multiple car chases and crashes, plane stunts, gun fights and hand-to-hand combat. The attack on Taylor's house, where Nancy is raped and killed, is a high point. You're not sure what's going to happen and, for a short time, you're led to believe that little Tommy is killed. Very unusual for an American-made action film from this time period. Don Stroud is, well, Don Stroud, as he acts crazy, kills anyone who gets in his way and overacts enormously. This was one of the last films he made before he was viciously mugged and knifed in real life, which resulted in him losing an eye and his face being partially paralyzed on one side (See 1991's THE DIVINE ENFORCER to view the damage to his face). He proved to be a real trouper and used his facial deformity to good effect in many of his later roles (He is now retired in Hawaii). Director John Stewart (CLICK: THE CALENDAR GIRL KILLER - 1991) does a good job maintaining the viewer's interest and the script, by Moshe Hadar, keeps things moving at a brisk pace, tossing in so many action scenes you almost forget some of the film's gaping plot holes (the whole time frame of the film just doesn't add up, especially after Taylor escapes from prison). CARTEL is still one of the better DTV action films to come out of the early 90's, thanks to plentiful, well-executed action scenes and a palpable sense of tension that is displayed throughout it's 99 minute running time. Also starring Sal Lopez, Jim Maniaci, Marco Fiorini, Frank Torres, Gary Littlejohn, Reggie De Morton and Jack West. A Shapiro Glickenhaus Entertainment Home Video Release. Also available on a budget DVD from Simitar Entertainment. Rated R.

CERTAIN FURY (1985) - There are two ways that you can look at this female action film. One way is to look at it as the end of Tatum O'Neal and Irene Cara's acting careers. I prefer to take the second route: A pretty good and bloody film that contains two Academy Award-winning actresses who probably took the jobs to pay some bills. Tatum and Irene portray Scarlet and Tracy, who first meet in court where they are both about to be taken before the judge on drug (Scarlet) and disorderly conduct (the innocent Tracy) charges. When two other female cons slit a bailiff's throat and take his gun and begin shooting up the courtroom (killing 7 people), Scarlet and Tracy run for their lives and are mistaken as a part of the gang who killed the cops and innocent bystanders. The cops shoot one of the guilty women in the head and then shotgun her in the chest, the other guilty girl is pulled down on a spiked fence by the cops and is impaled. Tracy and Scarlet escape into the sewers, where one stupid cop, who has them cornered, lights up a cigarette and ignites the sewer gas, causing a massive explosion and his eventual death. A detective (George Murdock) and Tracy's father (the late Moses Gunn) try to find the pair (they both know that the girls are innocent, even if Murdock refuses to say it out loud), before the cops kill them both. Scarlet (who is illiterate) and Tracy are always bickering (Scarlet calls Tracy a "nigger bitch") but circumstances keep them together. Scarlet takes Tracy to her drug supplier Sniffer (Nicholas Campbell) in hopes of getting help, but he just wants them out of his apartment. Scarlet leaves while Tracy takes a much-needed shower. Scarlet goes to see Rodney (Peter Fonda, in what amounts to a cameo) to see if he can help her, but he turns her away. Meanwhile, Sniffer tries to rape Tracy in the shower and she beats the holy hell out of him. Scarlet comes back and steals Sniffer's cocaine stash in hopes of getting some cash. Rodney, after finding out that there's a reward for the capture of the girls, sends three of his goons to Sniffer's apartment. A bloody gunfight ensues, where Sniffer snuffs one of the goons with a shotgun as the two girls escape yet again. Scarlet takes the stolen stash to Superman (Rodney Gage) where he agrees to buy it for $1,000. More trouble begins as Rodney's two remaining goons and Sniffer follow them to Superman's lair. The goons set the place on fire, hoping to flush out the girls, while Sniffer begins to beat the crap out of Scarlet. Sniffer burns to death and the girls escape yet again. Hearing that they are considered dead in the fire (a false report planted in the papers by the police), Scarlet and Tracy think that they are now in the clear and plan on starting new lives in the country. Alas, thing don't always turn out the way we plan. Director Stephen Gyllenhaal (who mainly directs TV movies and series episodes, right up till today and he did write the screenplay for Sean S. Cunningham's THE NEW KIDS [1985]) keeps things moving at a brisk pace and keeps your mind off the gaping plot holes that are left unresolved at the film's end. Filled with bloody shootouts, explosions, needle-stabbings and other mayhem, this action film differs from most because it doesn't contain one single car chase. Both Tatum O'Neal and Irene Cara (who sings the title track) do a decent job with their roles. They never really bond as friends until the finale which gives this film a thumbs-up from me for the realistic way two girls from different sides of the track would actually relate to each other. CERTAIN FURY is a good way to spend 87 minutes. A New World Video Release in SP mode and in EP mode from Starmaker Video. Not yet available on DVD. Rated R.

CLASSIFIED OPERATION (1985) - Another outrageous actioner as only the Filippinos can make them. After a successful raid on a jungle hideout where Ramon (Rey Malonzo starring as "Raymond Malonzo") and his Army cohorts save women hostages and kill all the guerillas (including Ramon's amazing acrobatic backflip off the side of a cliff where he shoots the head guerilla square in the face while in midair!), Ramon is called to be by his mother's side in the hospital. Before she dies, she makes Ramon promise to quit the Army. Torn about his promise, Ramon decides to take his wife and son on a vacation to visit his old hometown and his Uncle Jose. As soon as they get into town, Ramon gets into a fight with a bunch of street thugs, simply for asking directions. Ramon soon discovers that his old hometown is now under the strict rule of Cmdr. Falcon (George Estregan as "George St. Reagan"). Every family must pay their "taxes" (which include their virgin daughters for sale to the slave trade) to Falcon. If they don't, the men will be beat-up (or killed) and the women raped. It's not long before Ramon is knee-deep in shit as the police chief is too scared of Falcon to be any help. Ramon takes on Falcon and his gang single-handedly and suffers a great personal tragedy in the process.  Shamed into action (by Ramon's son), the police chief and the town spring into action to save Ramon (who for some reason is now called "Cmdr. .45"). Viewed as a companion piece to 1984's SEARCH FOR VENGEANCE (which was also directed, like this one, by star Rey Malonzo using the pseudonym "Reginald King"), CLASSIFIED OPERATION is the weaker of the two, but not without it's charms. Besides the already-mentioned cliff stunt, there's also an hilarious scene where Ramon shows his quickdraw skills on a gang of gun-toting goons. The incidental dialogue (by screenwriter Arthur Simon) is also a hoot. When a gang of guerillas is walking through the jungle, one can be heard saying, "I killed four men today.", like it was a normal thing for him. When Falcon is interrupted while fooling around with two women, he turns to them and says, "Keep it hot while I'm gone. OK?" There's also plenty of hand-to-hand combat (with exaggerated sound effects), numerous gun battles (Ramon likes to shoot people in the face for some reason) and too many explosions to count. Hey, this isn't Shakespeare, but it sure as hell isn't boring. Try not to smile as Ramon does the final barrel-roll stunt with the succession of .45s lying on the ground.  Also starring Mariane Reeves, Maxie Dudale, Jose Romulus, Conrad Poe, Robert Miller and Andrew Tsien. Also known as FIRE DRAGON and DELTA TERROR. The version I watched was ripped from a Greek VHS tape. Not Rated.

CROSS FIRE (1987) - After watching his wife and child getting brutally murdered in a home invasion, Richard Straker (Richard Norton) kills the invaders and becomes a drunken bum. One year later, the government asks him to return to Laos (during the war, he headed a Special Forces called "Black Thunder") to search for possible M.I.A.s and P.O.W.s. Major Straker travels to Bangkok and immediately gets into a bar fight (a prerequisite in films like this) and saves the life of a whore (who he fucks back at his hotel). Straker learns from C.I.A. operative Major Fowler (Frank Schuller) that he is bringing six wet-behind-the-ears soldiers on this mission and the government will disavow all knowledge of this mission if they are caught or killed. Straker and his new men parachute behind enemy lines and recon with their VC guides. They come across a burned-out village which turns out to be boobytrapped and one of Straker's men is injured. It seems no matter where they go, the enemy is waiting for them in ambush and, eventually, one member is shot dead. The head guide leads them to Hogan, "The Australian" (Glen Ruehland), an ex-patriate black marketeer who feeds Straker's men worms for dinner and then drives them to the border in a beat-up old schoolbus during the middle of the night. Hogan turns out to be a traitor and Straker and his men are captured and driven to a prison camp, headed by Dihn (Franco Guerrero of ONE ARMED EXECUTIONER - 1980), where the men are tied up and Dihn beats up Straker and then raosts him over some flaming embers. When morning comes, it's apparent that other American P.O.W.s are being kept there, including members of Straker's old Black Thunder squad. Straker and his men break free and rescue the P.O.W.s, only to find out that they're all infected with leprosy! Straker still rescues the P.O.W.s, completely destroys the camp and head towards the extraction point. Straker steals a train and then a jeep, only to learn his mission was a sham. After losing most of his men (and all the P.O.W.s!), Straker is not about to take this whole fiasco lying down.  This Philippines-lensed war action film, directed/produced/co-scripted by frequent Cirio H. Santiago collaborator Anthony Maharaj (MISSION TERMINATE - 1987), is standard jungle war thrills. It's basically a low-budget rip-off of RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD II (1985), as Straker and his inexperienced men trek through the jungle, get into firefights and try to avoid boobytraps while searching for living M.I.A.s & P.O.W.s. The real action doesn't kick in until the one hour mark, but once it starts, it's non-stop gunfights, hand-to-hand combat and explosions. I must admit that the leprosy angle was a nice, unexpected touch as were some later scenes, especially when Hogan, who turns out to be a good guy afterall, says to one of Straker's men when he doesn't want to touch the leprosy-infected P.O.W.s: "You Americans suffer from a worse disease, A.I.D.S.: Acute Ignorance Dumb Shit!" While the story lacks coherence and common sense, this film, originally known as NOT ANOTHER MISTAKE (a much better title, in my opinion), is a pretty solid way to spend 104 minutes of your life if you like a little pathos mixed in with your action. Richard Norton (GYMKATA - 1985; FUTURE HUNTERS - 1986; UNDER THE GUN - 1995) is one of the better martial artists-turned-actors and appeared in numerous B action films during the 80's & 90's, but he never got the proper recognition he deserved. I believe his Australian accent has handcuffed him in the United States, but that's a shame because he's a much better actor than most American B action stars. His refusal to Americanize his accent (like Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman did) probably cost him a lot of roles in major U.S. action flicks. Our loss. Also starring Michael Meyer, Wren Brown, Daniel Pietrich, Don Pemrick, Eric Hahn, Steve Young and Angel Confiado. A Nelson Entertainment Home Video Release. Rated R.

THE DANGER ZONE (1986) - Undercovercover cop Wade Olson (FLESH GORDON's Jason Williams) joins an outlaw biker group in the Nevada desert led by the evil gang leader Reaper (Robert Canada) to bust up their cocaine smuggling business. (They smuggle the cocaine in from Mexico in radio-controlled planes). Five girls on their way to a singing contest in Las Vegas break down in the middle of the desert and are picked up by the gang, who proceed to torture the women with snakes, threaten rape several times and expose their breasts at every opportune moment. Wade must come up with a way to bust the gang and save the girls at the same time. The ending contains a showdown between Wade and the girls and Reaper and his gang. Wade and all the girls survive and so does Reaper, who swears to get even. The girls make it to their contest in Las Vegas and win as Wade moves in on Reaper's Mexico connection. This is a so-so action film that relies on the sleaze factor to get by. There's a whipping, death by immolization, snakebite to the face, several gun deaths and, of course, the ample samplings of the female cast. The standout cast member here is Juanita Ranney as Skin, who is Reaper's girl, but basically a good girl caught in a bad situation.  She's the only believable member of the cast. Jason Williams underplays his role as if to be sleepwalking and everyone else in the cast (including Robert Axelrod, Mickey Elders, Michael Wayne, Suzanne Tara, Kriss Braxton, Mike Wiles, Cynthia Gray and future Leatherface R.A. Mahailoff) emote as if they were in a school play with no sound system. They are loud! One and only time director Henry Vernon takes forever to get things going and seems to pull back on things when he needed to push them forward. Believe it or not, this film produced three sequels, all starring Williams (who also produced all four and co-wrote three) as Wade Olson and two different actors in the role of Reaper. They are DANGER ZONE II: REAPER'S REVENGE (1988), DANGER ZONE III: STEEL HORSE WAR (1990) and DEATH RIDERS (aka DANGER ZONE 4: MAD GIRLS, BAD GIRLS - 1993). All of these films used to be shown regularly on USA's UP ALL NIGHT in severely edited form during the early 90's. A Charter Entertainment Release. Rated R.

THE DAY THEY ROBBED AMERICA (1987) - Outlandish Philippines-lensed production that's pretty hard to categorize. It's part war film, part heist film and 100% off-the-wall. The film opens up with soldier Duke Carson (James Acheson) watching VC soldiers shoot his nurse girlfriend when he refuses to answer their questions (He screams out a long "Nooooooo!"). The film then switches to a hostage situation at a restaurant where cop Robbie (Rudy Fernandez) shoots and kills hostage taker Junior. Junior's father Martin (Robert Arevalo), a local crime lord, retaliates and sends his men to kill Robbie, but they mistakenly shoot and seriously injure his father instead. Robbie quits the force and decides to go after Martin on his own. Meanwhile, Duke is reassigned to an American military base as an MP, close to where Robbie lives. Robbie's friends plan to rob the Bank of American Express on the military base and they want Robbie to join them, but he declines. Duke gets into a fight with local gunrunners at a bar where Robbie is having a drink. Robbie notices Duke's fighting abilities and compliments him on them. When Robbie learns his father is going to need an expensive operation, he has no choice but to join in on the bank robbery, but he brings in friends Boiler (a marksman) and Sausage (the brawny muscle) for extra insurance. Martin has his men burn down Robbie's house, nearly killing his wife and kids. Robbie grabs a machine gun and systematically begins gunning down Martin's men, nearly missing the robbery start time. They finally perform the robbery, sneaking into the military base disquising themselves as sandwich men. As they are robbing the bank, they are caught off-guard by Duke and the MPs, which leads to a shootout (Boiler, the marksman, is the first to die) and a hostage situation. Duke's new girlfriend Carol (Donna Villa), a bank teller, is taken hostage by Ronnie, which leads to a short car chase and another shootout. Duke rescues Carol as Ronnie and his gang disappear into the jungle. Robbie buries the money and disappears, as Duke goes commando and begins killing all the robbers one-by-one. The finale finds Duke and Robbie shooting it out and neither one comes out unscathed.  More plot-heavy than most Filippino action films, this flick (set in 1971) still has it's share of violent action setpieces, once the robbery starts. Until then, we are treated to Duke's numerous flashbacks to his dead girlfriend (he usually has them while trying to romance his new girlfriend!), various subplots involving gun runners trying to kill Duke and Martin trying to kill Robbie (who is credited as "Ruben" in the final credits). The funniest scene happens when Robbie's father is shot. Robbie stops a Jeep containing three American soldiers and asks for help, but they refuse! (To see a YouTube clip of this scene, supplied by the always reliable William Wilson, click HERE.). There are plenty of shootouts (lots and lots of bullet squibs), outrageous dubbing ("If he talks now, we're all in the shit!") and very unflattering depictions of the American military complex. I also love how Robbie has a mistress and the film seems to imply that there's nothing wrong with it. Another funny (and shocking) scene comes near the finale as Robbie is trying to drive to safety with his mistress in the car. With the sound of sirens and the glare of flashing lights in the background, she says, "Robbie, someone is following us! Maybe it's the police!", just before she gets shot in the back and dies immediately! While lacking the sheer lunacy of FINAL SCORE (1986) or the non-stop gunplay of other Philippines-lensed action flicks, THE DAY THEY ROBBED AMERICA still contains enough head-scratching action to get my recommendation. Directed by Manuel 'fyke' Cinco (REVENGE FOR JUSTICE - 1985). Also starring Rio Locsin, Edu Manzano, Bomber Moran and appearances by such Filippino mainstays as George Estregan, Nigel Hogge, Nick Nicholson, Willy Williams and Rudolfo 'Boy' Garcia. Available on DVD from Eastwest DVD as a double feature disc, with the film FINAL ASSIGNMENT (1980).

DEADLY COMMANDO (1982) - A crack unit of Amy soldiers (known as The Savage Six) are sent to rescue a kidnapped ambassador in this surprisingly expansive Filipino war action film, filled with stunts, gun battles and explosions. They successfully rescue the ambassador and celebrate at a bar, where they get into a (prerequisite) fight with a group of drunk patrons (one of the soldiers beats up half the bar using nothing but a food plate!) which ends with them being sent to the stockade. When an Army general agrees to a peace talk with some opposition guerillas, he's kidnapped by a group led by someone called the Professor (Boy Garcia). The crack unit is sent in to rescue the general in a commando raid, but first they must be freed from the stockade. The Professor's sister, Adora (Elisabeth Rope), agrees to work with The Savage Six from the inside (she's a guerilla, too, but it doesn't agree with her brothers politics), while the commandos parachute out of a helicopter and land behind enemy lines. The Professor is well aware of their presence and puts his camp on alert. When the Professor refuses to listen to his sister's plea for peace, Adora and her group join forces with The Savage Six, but when they raid the Professor's camp, it is deserted. The Professor then puts out word that his sister is a traitor and calls for all the guerillas in the area to kill her and her group as well as the Savage Six. Almost immediately, they are ambushed by the enemy and must fight their way out of a sticky situation (and amazingly, walk away without a single casualty). The Savage Six rescue the general in a cave, but become trapped there when the Professor and his guerillas surround them. The finale finds the Savage Six and Adora fighting impossible odds to bring the general back to safety. After the Professor is killed by a mortar round (he blows up real good) and our heroes make it to safety (with only one casualty!), an off-screen voice tells us that the general's mission was a success and both sides signed a peace treaty.  This early 80's Filipino action film, directed by Nick Cacas, (FORGOTTEN WARRIOR - 1986) and Segundo Ramos (DEATH RAIDERS - 1984), is more political than most Philippines-made actioners (script by Donald Arthur). This may be because some real-life Army generals and personnel portray themselves here, as the Americans are portrayed as understanding, willing-to-make-a-deal patriots, while the guerillas (one of them sports a mohawk!) are depicted as trigger-happy thugs (when one of the Professor's men suggests to him in the finale that they should surrender, he shoots him!). While the violence isn't all that bloody (just plenty of bullet hits, a couple of head shots and some stabbings), the action comes fast and furious. Particularly striking is the final scene of the film, a long shot in slow-motion of our heroes escorting the general down a hill while it is repeatedly bombarded by shellfire. It is a striking scene, almost poetic in it's execution. The opening raid on the bad guy's house to free the ambassador is also a triumph of execution, as the mansion the bad guy lives in is quite a set piece and is not the usual choice for explosions and carnage. While the middle portion of the film drags a little (politics, passion and pathos comes into play at this time), it's still fun watching a cast of Filipino pros, including Johnny Wilson, George Pallance and George Estregan (billed here as "George Regan") playing members of the Savage Six. Estregan, in particular, is a hoot, as he plays a ladies man who finds time to makeout with a female guerilla in the middle of a firefight! All three would basically reprise the same roles in Ramos' DEATH RAIDERS. Also starring Ray (Rey) Malonzo, Vic Vargas, Archer Vergel, Jimmy Santos, Red Lapid, Efraim Reyes Jr. and "Joel Sandoval's Group" of stuntmen. Originally known as SUICIDE FORCE, which is somewhat of a misnomer since only one member of the Savage Six actually dies. An International Video Presentation, Inc. Release. Not Rated.

DEADLY OUTBREAK (1995) - Jeff Speakman action vehicle that borrows freely from DIE HARD and OUTBREAK. Speakman stars as a Special Ops officer who must singlehandedly stop a terrorist outfit led by Ron Silver. The terrorists have taken control of a research lab in Israel that has developed a chemical weapon capable of wiping out a large city. Speakman teams with a scientist (Rochelle Swanson) and tries to hold onto the weapon while fighting their way through the terrorists. Some of the sights include: A shotgun blast to the balls, a throat slashing, multiple gunshots to the head and other extremities, various explosions and Speakman's special brand of martial arts. Speakman (PERFECT WEAPON - 1991, HOT BOYZ - 1999) makes a servicable action hero, but in some interviews that I have read he is said to have a bad ego problem. Both Larry Cohen and William Lustig do not have nice things to say about him. Ron Silver is making a career out of playing bad guys in recent years, playing baddies in TIMECOP (1994), THE ARRIVAL (1996) and DANGER ZONE (1996). Director Rick Avery has used Speakman in THE EXPERT (1994), his directorial debut. DEADLY OUTBREAK (shooting title: DEADLY TAKEOVER) is a pretty good action film if you don't expect much. A Live Entertainment Home Video Release. Rated R.

DEADLY REACTOR (1988) - In this extremely awful and cheap post-nuke Western flick, a roving gang of sadistic scavengers, led by Hog (Darwyn Swalve; HANDS OF STEEL - 1986; OPEN HOUSE - 1987), invade the home of Cody (David Heavener), kill his niece and nephew (we see the young boy get shot in the back), rape and kill his sister and shoot Cody in the stomach with a shotgun blast. A nearby rancher named Duke (Stuart Whitman, beating out his role in NIGHT OF THE LEPUS [1972] as a career low) saves Cody's life and nurses him back to health. When Hog and his crew begin terrorizing, raping and killing a town of Amish-like pacifists, Duke teaches Cody how to handle a gun like a cowboy, smoke cigars and drink homemade gin. We soon find out that Cody is nothing like his peaceful brethren (he was formerly a cop before the bombs fell), as we see him shoot and kill two nomads who fatally shoot Duke when they invade his ranch looking for food. A dying Duke (He says to Cody, "A man knows when Death bites him in the ass!") makes Cody promise to get justice in town and kill Hog and his gang. Cody hops on his horse and sets out for the long ride to town. Dressed as a preacher, Cody's first stop is the town church, where he kills two of Hog's men (he then hops on the church's roof and shoots a rapist in the balls!). While Hog is away from town purchasing a large cache of weapons, the greatful townspeople make Cody the sheriff (Hog shot the previous sheriff in the head.). Cody makes Bolie (Norman Bernard), a hungry prisoner not affiliated with Hog, his deputy and together they try to make the peace-loving townsfolk take up arms in participation of Hog's return. Some people refuse, but will they change their minds when they see their friends and neighbors being killed? The finale shows Cody and some of the townspeople defending their town and defeating Hog. Just when it seems that everything is going to be OK, a new gang drives into town. Is history about to repeat itself?  This impossibly cheap, cut-rate action flick is the second directorial effort of one-man wrecking crew David Heavener (his first being the even worse OUTLAW FORCE - 1988). Besides directing and acting in this, he also wrote the highly-derivative script and even grabs a guitar and sings us a song! It's apparent that Heavener fancies himself as a low-budget Clint Eastwood, as he copies Eastwood's mannerisms, cigar chomping and Western clothing (this is like a sci-fi version of Eastwood's PALE RIDER [1985]), but the sad fact is that Eastwood's shadow conveys more emotion and range than Heavener could ever hope to possess. Heavener does fill the screen with plenty of nudity (Alyson Davis as Shauna, Cody's new love interest, looks particularly fine in the raw). The violence is bloody (most of the blood comes from the plentiful bullet squibs in the many gunfights), but the editing is confusing and choppy (Heavener narrates parts of the film to cover-up scenes he forgot to film or did not have the budget to film) and makes some of the sequences hard to follow and downright perplexing. The most perplexing part of the film comes when Hog assaults the town during the final thirty minutes and Cody disappears for no discernable reason, allowing Hog and his men to easily recapture the town since the townspeople couldn't hit the side of a barn with a firearm. Cody then reappears and takes back the town nearly single-handedly, which negates everything Cody has said up till then. When the rest of the town begin to fight back, Cody has already disposed of most of Hog's men. It makes no sense to me. The Western post-nuke subgenre was better served a few years later in the Pepin/Merhi (PM) Production STEEL FRONTIER (1995). Now that was an entertaining, action-packed low-budget film. DEADLY REACTOR (named because of Cody's actions, not a nuclear power plant), is an instantly forgettable action flick with not much to recommend. Other Heavener-directed epics include TWISTED JUSTICE (1990), PRIME TARGET (1991), EYE OF THE STRANGER (1993), FUGITIVE X: INNOCENT TARGET (1996), OUTLAW PROPHET (2001), DAWN OF THE LIVING DEAD (2004) and PSYCHO WEENE (2006). Also starring Barbara Kerek, Arvid Holmberg, Ace Cruzherrera, Ray Spinka and Dan Zukovic. An A.I.P. Home Video Release. Not Rated.

DEATH CHASE (1987) - While riding his bike with his sister one morning, Steven Chase (William Zipp) gets caught in the middle of a shootout and his sister is killed. A dying man hands him a chrome-plated .45 and says, "You're it! Good luck." before passing away. Chase is forced to kill another man brandishing a shotgun and demanding the .45. A little old lady sees him shoot the old man and now he is wanted by the police, who think he is responsible for all the killings. Chase has become involved in  a bloody game masterminded by bad guy Steele (Paul L. Smith), where armed men try to kill whoever is in possession of the .45. I'm not too sure what the point of the game is, but a shady businessman known as The Chairman (C.T. Collins) is monitoring Chase's progress and the end result seems to be whoever is the last person standing that is in possession of the .45 (which has a tracking device built into it) will receive one million dollars. Not only is Chase being pursued by a bunch of game players with guns, he is also wanted by Lt. MacGrew (the late Jack Starrett), who will do anything to bring Chase to justice (or so it would seem), especially when two policemen are gunned down with the .45 (by Steele, not by Chase). The only advantage Chase has is whenever any of the game players are near him, the .45 beeps to alert him. After a few close calls at his apartment and a strip club, Chase learns to use the beeping to his advantage and becomes a formidable opponent. Chase also finds a friend in Diana (Bainbridge Scott), a woman Chase initially kidnaps, but she eventually saves his ass on several occasions (he also saves her from two player/rapists by stabbing one in the crotch and beating the other's brains out with a pipe) and they become lovers. When Lt. MacGrew proves to be just, if not more, crooked and deadly as Steele, Chase (with the help of Diana and best friend Eddie [Reggie DeMorton]) must figure a way out of this mess and the only way seems to be by killing everyone who wants to kill him. In the finale, Chase gives The Chairman a taste of his own game that he will never forget.  Somewhere within this film is a germ of a good idea but, unfortunately, the execution and the acting by most of the actors leaves a lot to be desired. It will come as no surprise then to learn that this is an early film for production company Action International Pictures, who turned out dozens of low-budget action films from the mid-80's to the early 90's. Director/co-scripter David A. Prior (SLEDGEHAMMER - 1984; KILLER WORKOUT - 1986; NIGHT WARS - 1988) gives us a lot of action setpieces (car and boat chases, gunfights and fistfights), but they all suffer from a certain cheapness, the same problem that early Richard Pepin/Joseph Merhi Productions (such as REPO JAKE - 1990) suffered from before they learned from their mistakes and turned out exciting actioners (like RAGE - 1995). I'm not saying you can't enjoy DEATH CHASE (also known as, simply, CHASE), because there are some good scenes (I especially like the scene where Chase is being pursued by two hitwomen in an auto junkyard) if you can just get passed it's poverty level of filmmaking. Director Prior seems to love using bullet squibs here, so there are plenty of bloody gunshot deaths. I just wish he had a better editor, as most of the action scenes are poorly composed and could have used some tightening. I was surprised to see genre vets Jack Starrett (THE DION BROTHERS - 1974) and Paul L. Smith (SNO-LINE - 1986) appearing in a lower-level film like this but, hey, a paycheck's a paycheck. Also starring Paul Bruno, Christine Crowell, Brian O'Connor and Amber Star. A New Star Video Release. Not Rated.

DEATH CHEATERS (1976) - After THE MAN FROM HONG KONG (1975), director Brian Trenchard-Smith made this, a stunt-filled comedy action adventure about the exploits of two movie stuntmen, Steve (John Hargreaves) and Rod (Grant Page), on-and-off the movie set. After foiling (what they think is) a real bank robbery and getting heat from his wife Julia (Margaret Gerard), Steve relates (in a flashback) how he and Rod have been doing reckless things together ever since they were in the Army's Commando Forces during the Vietnam War. Steve and Rod are taken at gunpoint to the estate of Mr. Culpepper (Noel Ferrier), a top secret Australian government official who wants to hire them to perform a special assignment (the bank robbery was a set-up to test their skills). After thinking it over for a couple of days (Culpepper won't tell them what the assignment is until they agree to work for him) and performing some stunts on a film shoot, Steve and Rod take on Culpepper's assignment (Steve tells his worried, but understanding, wife, "I get a kick out of danger!"). Culpepper (who is like M in the James Bond films, complete with a Miss Moneypenny-like secretary named Gloria [Judith Woodroffe], who horndog Rod keeps hitting on) wants Steve and Rod to take a submarine to an island in the Philippines and break into the heavily-guarded fortress of international criminal Augustino Hernandez and steal some important documents from his safe. First, Steve and Rod must go to "The Farm", a secret government training facility, to get in shape, but after running through a boobytrapped obstacle course and coming out unscathed and beating their best martial artist, it's apparent that they are already in tip-top shape (they both wear t-shirts with "Cunning Stunts" printed on the front during this sequence). They then take the submarine to the island in the Philippines and begin their adventure. They split up once they set foot on the island; Steve heads for the fortress through the jungle (where he has a close call with a land mine), while Rod climbs the steep cliffs on the other side of the fortress. While Rod sets off some explosive diversions and draws enemy fire, Steve uses a hang glider to enter the fortress and then some stung gags to steal the documents, pick up Rod and head back to the submarine to safety and then on to the premiere of Rod's latest film role: As a knight who is set on fire for a deodorant TV commercial!  This lighthearted comedy action film benefits greatly from the chemistry between John Hargreaves and Grant Page. Their comic banter and breezy delivery enhances the proceedings immensely as do the stunts we see Page perform (he's a real-life stuntman), including fire gags, building falls and car chases and crashes (the illusion of danger is much greater when we see one of the stars actually performing the stunts). Director Brian Trenchard-Smith, who would make the crazy and even more stunt-filled STUNT ROCK (1978) next, keeps things moving at a brisk pace, skipping such important story elements as character development and plot details, but still giving us a little insight into Steve and Rod's personal and professional lives. The fact that no one dies in this film and we never actually meet international criminal Augustino Hernandez or see Steve actually steal the important documents should show you where this film's tongue is firmly planted. Noel Ferrier (the evil Secretary Mallory in Trenchard-Smith's bloody ESCAPE 2000 [1982]) plays Culpepper with a dry wit, falling asleep while showing the stuntment an important roll of film, making comical asides and playing chess with Julia (and losing every game) while thay await word of the duo's success or failure. Ralph Cotterill also registers as Culpepper's right-hand man (listed in the credits simply as "Un-Civil Servant), who dresses like a gangster (complete with white suit and fedora) and fancies himself an expert martial artist, only to be upstaged by Steve and Rod at every turn. Grant Page, who also appeared as the assassin in Trenchard-Smith's THE MAN FROM HONG KONG (and also did a hang glider stunt in that film) and starred in his STUNT ROCK (along with the rock band Sorcery), is still an active Stunt Coordinator in Australian films. Page and Trenchard-Smith would team-up again in 1989 for the stuntman documentary DANGERFREAKS. John Hargreaves (who died of AIDS in 1996) was a well-respected Australian actor and is probably best known on American shores for his starring roles in the ecological thriller LONG WEEKEND (1978) and the fantasy action flick SKY PIRATES (1986). Trenchard-Smith (who has a cameo here as a TV commercial director) is also responsible for the futuristic actioner DEAD-END DRIVE IN (1986), the martial acts actioner DAY OF THE PANTHER and it's sequel FISTS OF BLOOD (both 1987) and over forty other films, spanning many genres. DEATH CHEATERS (the end credits lists the title as DEATHCHEATERS) is nothing extraordinary, just a fun little romp with plenty of stunts and humor. Also starring Drew Forsythe, John Krummel, Peter Collingwood and Annie Semler. A Vestron Video Release. Not available on DVD at the time of this review. Not Rated, but nothing objectionable.

DESERT SNOW (1989) - Good low-budget actioner about drug smuggling across the Mexican border. The film opens up with a van of wetbacks being massacred by two men with machine guns in the Arizona desert. An Indian (who is chugging a six-pack of Coors) sees the massacre and ends up getting murdered after trying to help the last surviving wetback. Max Collins (Steve Labatt) and Stone (Flint Carney) go searching the desert for the Indian, who happens to be Stone's uncle. They find the massacred wetbacks with their stomachs slit open. A DEA agent tells Max that a local drug baron, Angel Melendez (Simon Maceo), is using wetbacks to smuggle cocaine in their bodies as they illegally cross the border. The crooked sheriff warns Angel that Max and Stone are looking for the people responsible for killing Stone's uncle. Angel sends the crooked sheriff to kill them, but doesn't succeed. Angel has other problems. Mafia kingpin Don Russo (Sam Incorvia) sends his first lieutenant, Tony Sacco (Frank Capizzi), to Arizona to keep a close eye on Angel and to kill the "Mexican spic" if he proves to be an embarassment. Max and Stone break up a drug drop-off and walk away with the cocaine. Things get complicated when a mother/daughter team, in the desert on a camping trip, accidentally witness another wetback massacre. Max and Stone must also protect them as well as themselves. Things come to a boil when all three parties meet and fight to the death.  I really liked this film. It's well-acted by a cast of relative unknowns and one-time director Paul M. DeGruccio keeps the the action flowing at a speedy clip, letting enough blood and nudity creep in so that you are never bored. There also a hefty amount of humor in the script (by Dan Peacock and Paul Natale) that catches you off-guard among the grim proceedings. Tony Sacco complaining about the type of car that came to pick him up at the airport is a priceless piece of dialogue and editing. And just wait till you see what Tony uses under the wheels when his car gets stuck in the desert. The effects are also brutal. You will see several bloody head shots, a man shot in the groin, scenes of stomachs being slit open, throat slashings, a grenade being shoved into a goon's mouth and a major character has his hands nailed to a table and then stabbed in the back. Also, dig the carnage when Angel's girlfriend meets a cactus at 60 mph. I had a good time with this hard-to-find film. It's an almost perfect blend of action, violence and humor. If you can find this anywhere, pick it up! Also starring Shelley Hinkle, Caroline Jacobs, Ray Gamboa, Frank McGill, Cynthia Miles and Peter DeFalco. A Raedon Home Video Release. Not Rated. A special Thanks to William Wilson for giving me a copy of this.

THE DION BROTHERS (1974) - Good-natured action comedy from the always reliable Jack Starrett (THE LOSERS - 1970; RACE WITH THE DEVIL - 1975), the kind of action film they don't make any more. Stacy Keach and Frederic Forrest star as Calvin and Russell Dion, two dirt-poor mining town hicks who join a gang of thieves and look for their own personal GRAVY TRAIN (the film's alternate title) in Washington, D.C.. Tony (Barry Primus), the gang's well-dressed leader, sets up the robbery of an armored car, which goes off without a hitch, netting the gang, which also includes goofy musclehead Rex (Denny Miller) and shifty Carlos (Richard Romanus), over $600,000 in cash. When Tony and Carlos betray Calvin, Russell and Rex and send the cops to their hotel room, Rex is killed but Calvin and Russell escape thanks to a couple of sticks of dynamite and some police uniforms. They steal a police car and then pull over three guys and rob them of their clothes, money and car (a very funny scene). By chance, they see Tony's girlfriend Margie (Margot Kidder) walking down the street and follow her home. They make her take them to Tony, but Carlos is waiting with a sniper rifle (he's a lousy shot). A chase ensues and they capture Carlos. After torturing him with a lobster (!), Carlos agrees to take them to Tony. Everyone finally congregates at a building that is being demolished. Besides fighting each other, Tony and the Dion brothers must also contend with a wrecking ball, a room full of chickens and holes in the floors. With the building falling apart around them, the Dion brothers battle Tony and his goons room-by-room and floor-by-floor, until only one is left standing. Even though the ending is a bummer, you'll find yourself laughing out loud many times before the film ends on a dour note.  This funny action flick benefits tremendously by Keach's and Forrest's performances as two guys completely out of their element. They rob to finance their dream (well, it's actually Calvin's, but Russell goes along) of opening a fancy seafood restaurant, even though they have never tasted seafood. They are totally devoted to each other, though neither of them basically has a clue as to what they are doing (This is Russell's opinion of school: "They fill your head with so much gosh-darned facts, there's no room left to think!"). There's not a mean-spirited bone in this entire film until the finale. Even though there are gunfights, violence and death, it's all so goofy and innoculous, it elicits laughs rather than shock. The final building demolition chase/gunfight is well-staged and exciting, as everyone runs, shoots and falls through floors as the wrecking ball continuously strikes the building, ending in a surprising death and a great fight between Calvin and Tony. The cast of genre vets are excellent and also includes Clay Tanner and Robert Phillips as members of Tony's gang, Paul Dooley as a crooked doctor, future director Joe Tornatore (THE ZEBRA FORCE - 1976) as a cop and a cameo by director Jack Starrett as a good ol' boy on the TV. Terrence Malick, the director of BADLANDS (1973) and other quality films, co-wrote the screenplay with Bill Kerby using the pseudonyn "David Whitney". Malick was also slated to direct this, but dropped out and Starrett took over. Never released legally on home video in either VHS or DVD. The print I viewed came from the satellite station The Drive-In Channel. It's uncut, but every 30 minutes, they insert 5 minutes of commercials! In the immortal words of Cal Dion: "Here's twenty bucks. Go change your name!" Worth your time if you happen to run across a copy. This Tomorrow Entertainment production was released to theaters thru Columbia Pictures. When are studios going to wise up and start releasing 70's gems like this on DVD? Rated R.

DYNAMITE JOHNSON (BIONIC BOY PART II) (1978) - Director Bobby A. Suarez, fresh off the success of his previous two films, THE BIONIC BOY (1977) and THEY CALL HER...CLEOPATRA WONG (1978), decided to combine the characters of those films and make this, a wild Filipino action/comedy flick. The film opens with a giant mechanical dragon (it looks like the bastard step-cousin of Mechagodzilla), which shoots flames out of it's mouth and spits machinegun fire out it's tail, destroying a rival gang's headquarters. A severely burned victim of the dragon is taken to the hospital, where the Bionic Boy, Johnson "Sonny" Lee (Johnson Yap), is having work done on his bionic legs. His aunt, Interpol agent Cleopatra Wong (Marrie Lee), waits for word of his progress in the waiting room. While he is on the operating table, Sonny hears (with his bionic ear!) the burned guy scream about a giant dragon. When he tells Cleo later on about what he heard, she doesn't believe him (she thinks the anesthesia was playing tricks on his mind), but he is overheard talking about the giant dragon by a thug, who reports back to his boss. The crimeboss, who owns the mechanical dragon and would rather keep it's existence a secret, orders his men to kidnap the burned guy so he doesn't talk further. Sonny spots the goons kidnapping the guy and follows them to a warehouse, where he watches them kill the guy and talk about a smuggling shipment that they are going to pick up at the docks the next morning. Sonny goes to Cleo's house to tell her about it, but she still doesn't believe him, so he goes to the docks by himself the next morning, beats up all the smugglers with his bionic arms and legs (filmed in super slow-motion, while an electricic da-da-da sound plays on the soundtrack) and steals the metal briefcase containing the smugglers' goods (a new kind of radioactive uranium). With the briefcase as proof, Cleo has no other option but to believe Sonny (finally!). They both must now fight a succession of goons and, ultimately, the giant mechanical dragon, as the plot thickens and Nazis are brought into the mix. Agent DeLeon (Franco Guerrero) is assigned to babysit Sonny (easier said than done) while Cleo investigates. In the finale Cleo, Sonny and Agent DeLeon fight a bunch of wetsuit-clad bad guys on an island that holds a deadly secret. I laughed, I cried, I nearly died.  This goofy, entertaining movie once again proves that Director Bobby A. Suarez (ONE ARMED EXECUTIONER - 1980; AMERICAN COMMANDOS - 1985; WARRIORS OF THE APOCALYPSE - 1985) can do no wrong. Filled with wild scenes (Sonny outrunning a moving car and punching the driver in the face, knocking him out; Sonny tosses a goon through a basketball hoop) and crazy characters (including a flamboyantly gay gangster that kisses, slaps and runs around like a total flamer until Sonny hits him square in the nuts with a baseball, knocking off his hat and revealing a headfull of curlers!) that must be seen to be believed. The screenplay (by co-stars Ken Metcalfe and Joseph Zucchero) really doesn't make much sense (It involves illegal uranium mining being done by a tribe of loincloth-wearing natives, who are forced to work in the mines by a silver eyepatch-wearing Nazi, who plans on using this unique uranium to create a death laser and take over the world!), but there are so many funny scenes and out-there situations (including the giant mechanical dragon, which looks to be made out of sheet metal and cardboard painted gold), you'll find yourself in a constant state of laughter and disbelief (Nazis? Where in the hell did they come from?). There's also some side-splitting dialogue, such as when Kurz (Metcalf), the Nazi with the eyepatch, has captured Cleo and has her restrained on a big wooden wheel. Here's his interrogation of her: Kurz: "What is your name and why are you here?" Cleo: "Cleo Wong. Lady dragon hunter!" Kurz: You leave me no choice. We must spin the wheel!" And spin it he does. Unfortunately, this was the last adventure for Bionic Boy (Which was nothing but a knock-off of TV's THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, an extremely popular show worldwide at the time) and even uses the same slow-motion techniques (running the film backwards to show him jumping onto the top of walls and cliffs) and a bastardization of TSMDM's trademark bionic sound effect. Cleopatra Wong would return the next year in Suarez's THE DEVIL'S THREE (aka: PAY OR DIE). Never legally available on home video in the United States (you can guess why), DYNAMITE JOHNSON (also known as THE RETURN OF THE BIONIC BOY) is available from gray market sellers in a dub taken from a Dutch-subtitled letterboxed VHS tape. Of course, the IMDB's listing for this film is 80% wrong, as many of the actors listed don't appear here and the screenwriting credits are false. Also starring Alex Pecate (also the Stunt Coordinator), Johnny Wilson, Pete Cooper, Joe Sison, Manny Tibayan, Gary Quinn and the P.I.S. Stuntmen (P.I.S.S.)! Not Rated. "Throw his body in the river or somewhere!"

THE EXPENDABLES (1988) - This Vietnam War action film opens with Captain Rosello (Anthony Finetti) leading a platoon into an enemy village and destroying a munitions dump, but not before taking on heavy casualties. When the mission is completed, the only people left alive are Rosello, another soldier and a baby that Rosello rescues after he is forced to kill it's traitorous mother. Back at base camp, Rosello is informed by his Commanding Officer that no other soldiers want to work with him because every mission he leads, very few soldiers come back alive. Rosello is then ordered to lead a squad of misfits, con men and criminals on his latest mission, but first he has to get them to work together as a team. That won't be easy. This group of roustabouts have more issues than National Geographic. There's the wise-mouthed black demolitions expert, Jackson (Kevin Duffis); deeply religious Bible-thumper with the prophetic name Elijah Lord (Loren Haynes, who also wrote and sings the film's closing tune); full-fledged bigot Richter (Jeff Griffith), who looks at Jackson and says, "Apes ain't my brothers!"; hard-partying pothead Sterling (Peter Nelson); and the mysterious Navarro (Eric Hahn). Before you can say THE DIRTY DOZEN, Captain Rosello is seen whipping the squad into shape in typical 80's fashion, while we watch the members try to work out their differences, especially between Richter and Jackson (When Richter says, "I smell a nigger!", it leads to a lengthy fistfight between the two). Rosello finally leads his men on their first mission: Capturing a Viet Cong Colonel (Filipino staple Vic Diaz, in a much larger role than usual) and blowing up an enemy bridge. They somehow manage to complete their objectives, but they aren't yet working together as a squad (Rosello tells his Commanding Officer after the mission, "They can't even wipe their own asses!", to which his C.O. responds, "Then you wipe for them!"). Slowly but surely, everyone begins working together as a team and learn to put their differences aside. After taking a major casualty on their second mission, Roselli decides to take his men for a night out on the town, which leads to a prerequisite bar fight with a bunch of drunken Marines (one is portrayed by an uncredited Nick Nicholson). They all get thrown into the brig, but when enemy forces invade the hospital to free their captured Colonel and take some female nurses hostage, Captain Roselli and the Expendables swing into action in what will turn out to be their most dangerous (and fatal) mission. For the first time, Captain Roselli experiences the hollow experience of victory in the face of sacrifice.  This is Filipino director Cirio H. Santiago's third 80's Vietnam War film, after EYE OF THE EAGLE and BEHIND ENEMY LINES (both 1987), and while it offers nothing new to the genre (all the characters are straight out of Stereotypes 101), it still manages to be strangely compelling, not to mention action-packed. Santiago always staffs his films with his usual cast of professionals and THE EXPENDABLES benefits from it. As a matter of fact, the weakest actor here is Anthony Finetti as Captain Rosello, who is a newcomer to the Santiago universe. Nearly everyone else, from Rosello's Commanding Officer (William Steis; the star of DEMON OF PARADISE - 1987) to all the members of the Expendables, have appeared in numerous Santiago productions, sometimes taking-on leading and secondary roles and other times appearing in uncredited bit parts. That is why most of Santiago's films, whether good or bad, are at least well-acted. THE EXPENDABLES also contains it's fair share of gunfights, explosions and bloody bullet squibs as well as a surprising amount of female nudity (much of it full-frontal), way more than usual for films of this type. The script, by Philip Alderton, is generic war action stuff, but I did like the inclusion of the deeply religious character, Lord, into the mix. It allowed for a couple of unusual sequences, such as when Lord pulls his gun on and threatens to kill a naked gook prostitute when she rubs her naked body on him. He also turns out to be the voice of reason during the final attack set-piece, basically telling the rest of the gang, "Hell, do you want me leading you or do you want the reluctant pothead?" The group picks the pothead. As much as I despise organized religion in general, it's refreshing to watch a film that puts a human face to someone devoted to their god, without pandering or preaching. If you are a fan of war action films, you will probably enjoy this. This is the first film produced by Christopher R. Santiago, Cirio's son. Christoper would go on to produce many of his father's later films. Also starring David Light, Leah Navarro, Don Wilson, Jim Moss, Don Holtz, Greg Rocero, Janet Price and Cory Sperry as Strzalkowski, an in-joke to frequent Santiago collaborator Henry Strzalkowski, who had nothing to do with this film. Available on VHS from Media Home Entertainment and not yet available on DVD. Rated R.